I cannot stand Daylight Saving Time. I hate it. It shows up like that friend who says, “I’ll only stay an hour,” and somehow ends up sleeping on your couch for the weekend. It sneaks up out of nowhere, steals your sleep, wrecks your rhythm, and for what? We are still twisting our clocks around like it is 1916. Since I drive a lot, the sudden darkness at 5 p.m. feels like someone dimmed the entire planet just to irritate me personally. And of course, we can thank Germany for this brilliant idea. They started it during World War I to save energy. Great idea, Germany. Thanks a lot.
Then comes the real horror: changing the clocks. The non-electric ones are pure comedy in disguise. You twist them backward, hang them up, and somehow the wall hook suddenly refuses to cooperate, almost like it’s mocking you. It’s a test of precision and patience, the kind of challenge that makes you feel like Luke Skywalker trying to fire that perfect shot into the Death Star’s tiny exhaust port.
And here’s a twist worthy of history’s blooper reel. Canada actually started this madness. In 1908, the town of Port Arthur, now called Thunder Bay, decided to tinker with time before anyone else, beating Germany to the punch. Ever since, the world has been collectively confused, proving that daylight saving chaos has been an international sport from the very beginning.
Then there are the digital clocks. Who designs these things? The buttons are microscopic, like they were made for Smurfs. You need a flashlight, glasses, and maybe a magnifying glass just to see what you are pressing. One wrong move, and congratulations, you have just set your alarm for 3 a.m. Benjamin Franklin joked about saving candle wax in 1784. You think he would still be laughing if he saw us fumbling in the dark with our iPhones, trying to change the time? I doubt it.
Now, the car clock. Do not even get me started. You need a PhD to change that thing. You scroll through forty-seven menus that look like NASA launch codes, and your car flashes a message: “Do not adjust while driving.” Really? What am I supposed to do, pull over and dedicate half my afternoon to fixing one hour? Fine, I will just live in the wrong time zone until the next lunar eclipse. And by the way, this whole thing was never for farmers. They hate it. It messes up their routines, the animals get confused, and the cows do not know when to be milked. It is chaos.
And just when you have finally fixed every clock in the house, here comes spring. You lose an hour of sleep, you have to do the whole thing backward, and everyone is cranky for a week. It is madness. Meanwhile, the Martians are probably laughing at us. You know they have one big clock that never changes, just ticking away peacefully on Mars time. No “fall back,” no “spring forward,” just sanity.
And then the kicker. The government swears this helps the economy. “Oh, an extra hour of daylight will make people shop more!” Please. It does not add daylight. Unless we can stop the Earth from spinning, we are not gaining anything. All we are doing is shifting time around and pretending it is progress. What we are really saving is frustration for later.
So yes, Daylight Saving Time is a terrible idea. It is confusing, exhausting, and completely unnecessary. Honestly, if Larry David ran the world, this would be the first thing to go.